For those well-versed in Greek mythology, you are likely aware that Nike was the goddess of victory. Well, today, my good friend Nike smiled upon me as I faced Kyle Nelson, my nemesis in racquetball. After countless months of stinging defeats, today was a most amazing victory.
Fear not, lest you think I am boasting. While Kyle has joined the rest of us mortals, I have a new nemesis – Mary Culverwell. Now Mary may seem sweet and all, but she is really quite vicious. She “accidentally” struck me with her racquet.
Sure, she looked all apologetic, but I could tell there was method to her madness. From then on, whenever she swung her scary razor-lined racquet I would cower in the corner expecting her to come after me.
Mary, I am awaiting a rematch. This time I will wear a full suit of armor
But, back to Kyle. Now that I have defeated him, he promised to redouble his effort towards getting married. So, any sister in our ward who may have interest, please come see me on Sunday. I am fully in charge of his social life from now on.
Post written from the ER…